Watch your language...

the word police may be lurking.

A quick recap. Our POTUS has decided that there are unilateral decisions that need to be made to make our country better, like:

• suggesting the name Enola Gay be stripped from the Pentagon’s website as part of its DEI purge. Does he know it was named after the pilot's mother, Enola Gay Tibbets.

• the Department of Justice has stripped Harvey Milk's name off a ship honoring the assassinated gay rights icon; now it will be the USNS Harvey. Really? The guy served in the Navy—has our Maga-man served? I think we know the answer.

What’s next? Well, I can think of a few.

fairy tale. This will now just be tale. Just when little Johnny was getting attached to reading fairy tales, he and his parents will now only be able to use just tales. While tale is to-the-point and does not venture into the messy world of genetics it somehow lacks the quaintness of fairy tales.

Tooth fairy. There’s that word again. Since using the word tooth by itself won’t cut it, daddy might have to say, “Hey Susie, you better be good because the tooth goblin is scheduled to come tonight.” Probably scare the bejesus out of the little ones. No daddy, I don’t need the extra cash, thanks.

Fairy godmother. Whoa! This is a tough one. May have to go to something like magical godmother. Sounds flat, but better than hero godmother. What would Cinderella or Tinker Bell think if we redefine their persona?

Gay. Where to go with this one? People often say, “I’m having a gay old time,” or “That’s such a gay tune.” Probably use “I’m having such a lighthearted time,” or “That’s such a merry tune.” I told you this would be tough.

Trans. Don’t get me started. We’re hearing about a number of possibilities. First and foremost, we’ve heard that DJT has proposed that the Trans-Siberian Railway be modified to simply the Siberian Railway. Doesn’t quite have the same ring. If he gets a buy-in from Putin he still would have to deal with folks near all the stops along the 5,772-mile system, such as those in Krasnoyarsk or Vladivostok.

There is an unending array of trans words. What to do about: transition, transcend, transitory, transgress, transfigure, transfix, translate, transparent, and transaction? Ultimately, our Trumpster will need to acquire the likes of Merriam-Webster, Thesaurus.com, Dictionary.com, and others so that revisions and deletions can be made to these and others cited here.

In San Francisco we have the Transbay Joint Powers Authority and Transbay Transit Center. Whoof! The name Bay Joint Powers Authority falls flat as a pancake. Sounds like a group in charge of dealing with critical parts of a tan horse or sections of a building, not a major transportation entity. Tough one.

Pride. The phrase gay pride is a double whammy. We’ve covered gay so let’s isolate on pride, particularly its impact on animals. Now we refer to a pride of lions as a social species. Maybe a bunch of lions will have to work. Pretty demeaning to our muscular cat friends though. While we’re at it, let’s go further (I know you were hoping). I will no longer be able to say, “I take a lot of pride in my work.” Instead, I will just have to say, “My work is so good that I am content to have a lot of satisfaction.” Cumbersome? Sure, but I think it might even give a certain nonchalance to my understated ego.

Nonbinary. This one’s heading for the trash can, unless we just use the binary part. Problem is, if we lose the whole phrase, it will eliminate our ability to do square roots and other important math functions since they’re based on…oh well, you get the picture.

In summary, we’re in deep doorknobs if Mr. fly-away-hair gets his way.

---

---